Suffering Well is like living on the edge of a knife blade. Those who pursue suffering well purposely stay in a difficult place while our soul and heart screams out for relief. Suffering well requires we embrace the opposite of what we really want. Embrace our suffering?
When we are in pain or suffering we want peace, pleasure, relief, comfort and the smooth places in life. As in my blog entry “The Giver of our Bearings” we seek the “plain of peace” and shun the “thicket of the Jordon”. (Jer. 12-1-5) Yet, God asks the question in that passage that haunts each of us who suffer. “What will you do when things get worse or appear to have no solution” [My (Brewer) Translation]
As I lived those 12 years in increasing heart failure many times all I wanted was to get off and stay off the sharp edge of suffering. I wanted relief, a solution and at times I was so angry at God I was inconsolable. I didn’t care how or in what form my relief would come. It might come in my healing, transplant or death. Yes, there were times when I would have welcomed death so I and my family would not have to continue to suffer.
In other words, I wanted to jump off the sharp edge of suffering God had for me. I at times “jumped” off the blade to the side that represents denial, repression or demand. By this I tried my best to keep my mind off the facts of my life and coming death or would express my anger at God. My anger’s purpose was to demand God make my health and life situation go according to my story for my life as I rebelled at His story for my life.
At other times, I would “jump” off the side of the sharp edge of suffering that represents a spiritual response. I would attempt to come up with God’s purpose for my suffering. “Maybe God purposed this so…. Or I would make respond in what I call a “hyper spiritual” manner. During these times I would thank God for my suffering, talk about His will and sovereignty. But, looking back I honestly I only wanted Relief…Peace… Relief from Suffering…The plain of peace… I did not want to live in the truth of suffering well. I did not want what God wanted for me.
So what does it mean to live on the edge of the knife blade of suffering well?
To get a sense if this I suggest you place the palm of your hand on the sharp edge of a knife blade and press down slightly and hold it there for a while. I did this recently with my diving knife while I was preaching on this topic. Now, you must understand that this knife has a sharp 12 inch long blade. After doing this for about 5 minutes while I was concentrating on what I was saying I realized that my hand was hurting. With a start I lifted my hand off the blade and to my relief found no blood but there was a significant groove in my hand.
Suffering well is essentially staying on the edge of the blade and;
- Not jumping off the blade on the side of denial of the reality of your pain and suffering or demand that life go according to your preference.
- Not jumping off the blade on the side of spiritualization where we attempt to define God’s purpose in our struggle.
- Growing your personal conviction of God’s sovereignty in the midst of pain and suffering.
- Growing your personal conviction of how deeply God loves us.
- Growing your personal conviction of “Your Story” of how your life is in conflict with God’s story for your life.
- Growing understanding that God’s Story for you is a Good Story because God is only good . Certainly, His good story might not be good by your definition but good as defined by “Him be the Glory Forever! Amen”
- Endure the pain and suffering because of its role in our sanctification and His Glory
Rom 11:33 Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! “Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?” 35 “Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?” 36 For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.
This is just what I needed to help me. I need to refocus and stay focused on Christ. If I keep my eyes on Jesus I can walk on water,if I keep my eyes on Him and what He has for me and not look at the “waves” (suffering)then I won’t sink into despair, depression and hopelessness.
Thanks for sharing, Dave.
Two scriptures come to mind today as I think about how you are sharing your story:
He comforts us whenever we suffer. That is why whenever other people suffer, we are able to comfort them by using the same comfort we have received from God. 1 Cor 1:4
Encourage each other every day while you have the opportunity. If you do this, none of you will be deceived by sin and become stubborn. Hebrews 3:13
Thank you David for your continuation of “Suffering Well”. All that you are saying needs to be taught and reinforced in the church. What comes to mind as I read your entries is what the previous person commented on out of II Corinthians 1:3-5 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows..”
In my own suffering (which I count as nothing as compared to what others have suffered or are now suffering) I have found that when my FOCUS REMAINS on Christ and His tremendous love for me, and the strength, hope and power to live victoriously that only He can give – it is then that I experience what you define as suffering well. Unfortunatley we all continually battle satan and his deceiving attacks and lies when we are struck down with the pain – producing its ugly fruits of discouragment, hopelessness, confusion and fear . . . thus holding us captive from experiencing the freedom and joy and hope that we CAN EXPERIENCE in the midst of suffering. Jesus said over and over again to “fear not”. Jesus also said “I tell you the truth . . ” My prayer for all who suffer (as well as myself) is to more and more fear not and to continue to grow in His truth.
When I make the choice to ASK HIM TO HELP ME REMAIN IN HIS WORD AND FOCUS ON HIS TRUTH and HIS GOODNESS and HIS FAITHFULNESS – the waves of my silent cries of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual torture seem to calm and flow out from the current of violent tossed about waves to the more peaceful streams, giving me rest and restoring my soul.
Looking forward to reading more of your entries David! The Lord is really using you. Thank you!
Martha